And since Megs is in Hawaii "working" really hard on that tan, I decided to get some help from an expert on the topic. You know her, you love her, you all want to be her. That's right, it's Ms. Erin Walsh! Our Biggest Fan!! I mean-- our fan. Yeah.
So here you go, Devan. This is everything you need to know about making that night (and only that night) oh so special!
Where to meet your One-Night-Man
Well this all depends on what type of guy you want for your "special" night.
"Guy that you really don't want to see ever again:"
Try neighborhood bars you wouldn't typically hang out in. If you're always at City Tavern in the Marina, then I don't recommend picking up a one night stand there. Think about the awkward run-ins, the whispers amongst his friends, the post 5 shot conversation about the one night stand. If that doesn't sound like fun to you, avoid picking up the dude at your frequent haunts.
"Guy that you really don't want to see ever again:"
Try neighborhood bars you wouldn't typically hang out in. If you're always at City Tavern in the Marina, then I don't recommend picking up a one night stand there. Think about the awkward run-ins, the whispers amongst his friends, the post 5 shot conversation about the one night stand. If that doesn't sound like fun to you, avoid picking up the dude at your frequent haunts."Guy you may want to see again but you're not certain yet:"
You meet a guy and maybe you like his style or sense of humor, but you're embarrassed about having to run out out at 5am. Try some North Beach bars. He's probably pretty laid back and you can guarantee he goes to the same spots all the time. So you have a chance of brushing elbows and saying "Oh hey, what's up from before?"
You meet a guy and maybe you like his style or sense of humor, but you're embarrassed about having to run out out at 5am. Try some North Beach bars. He's probably pretty laid back and you can guarantee he goes to the same spots all the time. So you have a chance of brushing elbows and saying "Oh hey, what's up from before?"
"How the fuck did I end up with this guy" guy: 
It has to be the Tenderloin. This is the guy who will offer you coke/E/speed in the bathroom. And oops! You accidentally accepted! You woke up on the floor of his cousin's girlfriend's monthly hotel on the corner of O' Farrell & Leavenworth. (blogger's note: this is not written from experience.. or so Erin says).
It has to be the Tenderloin. This is the guy who will offer you coke/E/speed in the bathroom. And oops! You accidentally accepted! You woke up on the floor of his cousin's girlfriend's monthly hotel on the corner of O' Farrell & Leavenworth. (blogger's note: this is not written from experience.. or so Erin says).
"oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a famous musician" guy:
Try the mission. But remember: his pants are tighter than yours and his bike takes up half of his bedroom, so things may not start out well back at his place. TIP: suggest showering together as foreplay because this stinky bike messenger has probably been peddling the hills of SF all day and drinking whiskey all night. Ew.
Try the mission. But remember: his pants are tighter than yours and his bike takes up half of his bedroom, so things may not start out well back at his place. TIP: suggest showering together as foreplay because this stinky bike messenger has probably been peddling the hills of SF all day and drinking whiskey all night. Ew.
Oh yeah, and unless you want him to take you to Herbivore for a non-dairy scrambled egg vegan breakfast, I suggest running out of there ASAP.
What to bring on your first/last date
You don't need much, obvi, but here are the essentials.
Oral B Brush Ups
More discreet than a tooth brush, more sanitary than chewing mint gum.
More discreet than a tooth brush, more sanitary than chewing mint gum.
A condom
Devan, if you ain't carrying one of these around in your shoe, you ain't ready for a O.N.S.
Devan, if you ain't carrying one of these around in your shoe, you ain't ready for a O.N.S.
$10
This is for the cab ride out of there. IMPORTANT: don't use it to buy that last drink, you're already wasted and you're going to need it to get home.
However, if you do spend your last dollar, you can always call Megan. And make sure you commit her number to memory, because you never know where your cell may end up!
This is for the cab ride out of there. IMPORTANT: don't use it to buy that last drink, you're already wasted and you're going to need it to get home.
However, if you do spend your last dollar, you can always call Megan. And make sure you commit her number to memory, because you never know where your cell may end up!
Travel Perfume
You will need this if you've been dancing all night at Double Dutch and want to freshen up your scent to impress your man (but believe me, he probably doesnt need any impressing).
What to say to get the F outta there!
This part doesn't really matter. That's why it's called a one night stand.
So fellas, listen up! If you see Devan out there on the prowl, you have been warned! She is armed and ready!!
4 comments:
totally call me... unless I didn't go home the night before, what am I talking about I am usually sleeping alone in my bed.
xoxo
megs
writers note: megan is a very reliable form of transportation... not that i know from experience or anything. now devan, get out therre and get some strange ass!
Tenderloin here I come!
You guys crack me up! Erin...thanks to you and the "present" you gave me on New Years...I'm armed and ready to fire!
My ex seemed to have excellent luck finding one night partners off Craigslist - or I know Craig himself frequents a coffee shop just off of Twin Peaks. That place must be a good place to meet someone.
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