Every Office Has One

The Stomper
The Stomper, also known as The Loud Walker, likes to announce their presence at all times with very heavy footsteps. This person is usually a "late bird" making it more annoying for everyone else in the office since they have to hear the person's arrival every day. The Stomper's annoying loudness is usually not limited to their footsteps. They have been known to do the following things very loudly:

-set down their purse
-throw their keys on their desk
-exhale
-hang up the phone


The Joker
This guy thinks of himself as the Office Cut-up. He has a sarcastic remark ready for any situation. But these remarks are usually just recycled catch phrases that don't actually qualify as "jokes."
Example:
You: "I haven't finished those TPS reports yet, but they will be done after lunch."
The Joker: "You are the weakest link! Goodbye!"

Ha ha? What does that even mean??


The Loud Talker
This person seems to think that their conversations are so interesting that everyone in the office wants to be a part of them. Wrong! The Loud Talker likes to make personal phone calls at work and makes damn sure we all know what's going on with them, their sister, their baby daddy... etc. A very annoying trait of the Loud Talker is that they tend to get off their personal call and proceed to walk around to each cubicle re-telling what we all just heard. Over and over. Loud Talkers are quite often Stompers, as well.


Miss Perky
Miss Perky seems to have had 8 cups of coffee before she even gets to work. One of her favorite things to say is "Happy (day of the week)!" This is really only acceptable if someone is saying "Happy Friday" - and even then it's somewhat irritating. So when Miss Perky walks in on an obismal Monday morning and has the nerve to say "Happy Monday!!" it's enough to make any sane person stab a pen in their own eye. You may get the urge to trip her while she walks to the printer, but chances are she will be just as perky when she gets up.


The Hipster
Usaully in their early to mid 20s, the Hipster spends every weeknight going to a differnt bar or club to see the next cool band that is in fact so cool that no one will ever hear of them. Except the Hipster. This is followed by a day full of complaining to the rest of the office about their hangover and/or ringing ears. The Hipster is very fond of name dropping. This lets you know that they heard of the band/singer/acoustic guitar crooner before you did. For some reason this is very important for the Hipster. A great way to throw them off is to act like you have heard of the band/singer/acoustic guitar crooner also. You can actually see the moment that their heart breaks.



So fellow readers which one are you??



FYI

Megan: The Office Bitch - Talks shit whenever she can.

Barb: The Office Bitch - Points out everyones faults except her own.